I've been feeling so lonely lately, like I desperately need someone to be around and talk to. It's been really depressing, especially since I spend most my day stuck in my room, alone. It makes for feelings of despair and desperation for human connection. It hurts.

It's also resulted in me thinking about my ex a lot. When we broke up, I didn't feel particularly unhappy about it; I had so many other things to keep my mind off it that it almost seemed like I was happier after we broke up. But, even though months have passed since we broke up, I've now started to think of her and the breakup constantly. It's gotten so bad I can't just sit with my thoughts: I always chase distraction in some form or another, that being a youtube video or a game to play.

I want to be able to have people to talk to and I want to find love again. I realised that the reason we broke up was because I was not keeping a balance between her and my friends, instead, she was the only person I remotely valued or spoke to, and that resulted in me becoming extremely needy and obsessive.

The problem is, though, that I can't find connection to others. I live in the middle of nowhere and while I do have some friends at the school I go to, it's nothing that's enough to make me feel better. Plus, it still doesn't fix the 8 hours a day I spend at home, all alone. I really don't know what to do about it; I desperately need human connection, but I can't find it.

Like, I really really crave it. Like, really badly. So, if anyone has some advice pls let me know :`)

Today's recommendation is... LOONA - Hi High (SEWERSLVT Remix) ♡