I cannot take existance anymore, every fucking waking moment my heart beats so fast and its so painful, all I can think of is how much I've lost and how little I have left. Every single fucking second I feel like crying and I just can't see an end to it all. I fake a smile to my friends yet I want to burst out crying in their arms, but I don't have the courage to open up to them or anyone, I listen to all their problems yet I've never even mentioned mine. I feel so alone and I just want someone to hold me in their arms like she used to, but I know that will never ever happpen again.