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08/01/2025

2nd day of school... yay... I haven't been able to sleep at all for the past week and it's been catching up to me :( I don't have the energy nor the motivation to do anything anymore, I've just been walking around like a fucking husk.

It's gotten so bad I don't even have the energy to doomscroll or watch youtube anymore, I just sit and listen to music while thinking about the past. I hate thinking about the past. It's why I can't sleep; I just sit in my bed and I think about my past mistakes and the people I've failed and the ones I've lost.

I also feel strangely depressed again, I wrote a long ass journal entry (too long to post here) about how much I want to die and about the past and about myself and about how I'll never be happy, usual cringy teenage shit really.

If I could choose to live another life, I would do it in a heartbeat. I hate living where I live, I hate the school I go to and how it forces its stupid fucking christian ideals on me, I hate how I look, I hate the people around me, I hate my thoughts, I hate the cold and I despise how little I've lived. I wish I could have lived my teenage years happy, instead they've just been wasted, wasted by my stupidity and the circumstances surrounding me.

Alright, thats enough for today; sorry this entry was so incoherent.