SO SORRY AGAIN FOR DISSPEARING IVE JUST BEEN LAZY!!

A lot has happened! This past month has truly been so beautiful <3

To start, I spent the holiday alone at home, but it wasn't lonely at all. I spent my days working on fashion projects, studying and just chilling, smoking and vibing to music. I met lots of people, because I started playing webfishing every night and I just chat with strangers about life. I also met a few cool people who are into hyerpop as well.

One of them was this girl we'll call tizi. Tizi randomly messaged me cuz she found my page and we hit off quite well, we spoke a lot in the first few days. She's really cool, but she wanted more. I didn't. I think I was worried about the distance, because she lives really far away. I felt very conflicted, because I did like her. But, I think the sitatuion demonstrated to me my growth.

In my last relationship, I jumped in straight away while ignoring obvious problems, in myself and in the nature of the relationship. This time, while I could not control my desire for more than a friendship, I also was very honest about it, both with myself and her. I communicated my reluctance and warned her that, while I am happy to talk to her, flirt with her and whatever else; I might very well decide soon that a long distance relationship is not what I want. I think it was a very mature things, especially as I kept an honesty about my feelings and worries.

In the end, I did not want a relationship, and I think that thanks to my approach to the sitatuion, we've managed to keep the friendship even after that decision :)

Anyways, at the end of my holiday I went to London!

The first day was so chill, I arrived and went to SOHO and had a pizza. Then, I went to Richmond and chilled on the hill and enjoyed the sunset. The next day, I met with my friend and got high for the first time! We went to an art gallery and spent some time together while the edibles kicked in slowly,,, They had an interesting effect, they made me lock in really hard. Like, I dunno how to describe it, but I stopped responding to external stimuli? It happens to me on the day to day, like when I'm studying or on my phone I won't register people talking to me. It was the same when I was high, but like extra? I was looking at paintings for so long and my friend was talking to me, but I would only register that minutes later.

Anyways, after that we went and got some beer and sat by the Big Ben, where we met this guy who was playing music, like a random street performer guy. WE GOT HIM TO PLAY SOME GLAIVE HAHHA. He was a chill guy, I loved meeting him <3

Then, we went and ate, and after that we went to a cat cafe! All the cats weren't in the mood for humans, they were ignoring everyone :( BUT!! One of the cats, who was extra ignoring everyone, randomly came to me, tail up, purring and jumped on my lap!! It fell asleep on my lap and it was so sweet :`)

After that, we got more drinks and then we went and watched the minecraft movie, it was fun!

Then, we passed by the Avengers cast while walking to McDonalds, I know cuz there were paparazzi following them. We just aura farmed and walked right past without batting an eye.

The next day, I went and saw my ex! The one the poems are about, but like we're friends now so it wasnt just a random thing. It was really nice seeing her, it was the first time since everything between us kinda went to shit for the last time. We walked around London, had some fags and then went to a ramen place and had some food :) Oh, she also showed me this really cool church that got turned into a park! Like, the roof collapsed so they just turned it into a green space, it was really pretty. When we had to say goodbye, we hugged, twice, and it was really sweet idk how to describe it and aaaa I missed her. A couple hours after, she texted me that it was really nice to see me and that I should come to London more, to see her. I told her I'd come see her again that day! Because, I had to get rid of a jumper anyway (didnt have space in my bag for it), so I decided to just give it to her hehe. I didn't have time to like hang out, but I really really just wanted to see her again and give her the jumper. So, I met her outside her dorm and she walked me to the tube, oh she also wore a crop top she made it was really pretty!! When we got to the station, we hugged goodbye again, but this time for like an extra long amount of time hehe. We said goodbye and I turned to go to the station, but then she said 'stop!' and I turned around and she ran to me and hugged me again. I think my heart kinda melted,,, she said she'll come see me in Scotland, or that I should come to London again <3

There's nothing romantic tho!! She's so amazing, but it just would never work. I'm just glad I got to see her pretty face again, and hug her, I missed hugging her. I really want to kiss her forehead. I also really want to stroke her hair while she sleeps on my lap. Nothing romantic tho trust!!

Then, I went to my friends concert!! She was performing, cuz shes an artist!! I dunno if anyone remembers, but last time I was in London at the glaive concert, me, her, her friend, my friend and this other guy went drinking together and had an amazing night! Well! WE ALL REUNITED!!!

Cuz my friend invited the other guy to come, so we were all reunited!! It was so sweet seeing them man,,, It made me so happyyy

The concert was cute! We had a good time, and I was also high again. After the concert we vibed to glaive outside the venue and shi. And then we went to a house party!

It was super fun, but there was a lot of coke, which I wasn't very comfortable around. But, it was really nice to chill with everyone, and in the end I just ended up going in a bedroom and enjoying the high. It made me have such vivid like dreams. I remember I first saw like neon bipedal frogs? and then there was a pawn on a chess board, which then grew wings and flew away?? And then, all I could see was my ex smiling at me, just her face, smiling at me sweetly.

We vibed to glaive more and then at like 7am I left. I flew back to Scotland a few hours later

LONDON WAS AMAZING I CANT WAIT TO GO BACK! I loved it so muchh

The next day school started, and since then I've just been locked in studying, I got my exams soon so yeah

I'll see u guys next time :)

My artist recommendations for this month are: 2hollis, glaive, king krule, funeral, re6ce, twikipedia, devon hendryx, brakence, fkfakekickin, The Avalanches, 111nightshift and underscores and glaive again cuz he's my goat ♡